"Hey kids! Never talk to strangers. (Unless that stranger is dressed like a favorite holiday mascot. Because then you should climb into their lap, let them take your picture, and accept any candy or gifts they offer you.)" - Society

Just once I wish my one night stand would make me breakfast in the morning. And I wish my other night stand would put my laundry away. They’re such lazy furniture.

The Straight Girl Assumption

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If weekdays were jelly bean flavors, Tuesday would be black licorice. It always leaves a bad taste in my mouth.

I’ve never been to Coachella, but I’ve definitely been to Couchella. In fact, I’ve been there all weekend catching up on Orphan Black.

When you’re little and playing make believe, you argue with your friends over which fictional character you get to be. But when you’re grown up and doing the same, you argue with your friends over which fictional character you get to do. This is how you know you’ve matured.

They say people come into your life for a reason, a season, or a lifetime. But thanks to instant viewing, a good TV series can do all of the above. RIP Being Human. I will see you again.

Google Glass should really come with built-in gaydar. At least then you’d know you aren’t barking up the wrong tree when you’re rejected for wearing Google Glass.

The Fine Art of Flirting

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April Fool’s Day, in which I sit patiently in the park and wait for The Great Prankster to rise from the Hollywood Hills to inform me that all my least favorite things in life are just extended practical jokes. Then I’ll kick him in the nuts.